Getting closer!!

I have 4 weeks until my competition. 4 weeks!!! I am so nervous it is unreal. I have fired my nutritionist (and really I am being generous here with that title, I should say the guy who plugged stuff in the computer and spit out a bogus diet) and I am back to following what Steve and Rhonda have taught me from day one. We live and learn right? But they are patient and love me anyway and let me make my own mistakes and now will help me the best they can with the time that is left.

I have been taking posing classes with a gal named Kathy Everton. She is a champion competitor. Google her, she is cute as a bug and twice as sweet. I am practicing my posing and working on the nerve to stick that suit on my body and walk through the gym and practice posing in it. I have to get over my stage fright if I am gonna do this.

Here are my pics with 4 weeks to go. Still a little fluffy on the hips. Dedication to diet and the last few last ditch cutting efforts should melt it right off. The top fits good and I need to keep focus on my shoulders and booty to create the right shape and line for my body. I will keep at it with all I have. Just call me the little engine that could.

Why

Today I had my body fat measured and it went the wrong way. I am frustrated with it. I felt like giving up when I heard that number. Then I thought NO!!! I am not going to allow myself to think that way. I am going to list why I am doing this.

Cuz my kids are watching. If I quit when it's hard or I get frustrated what am I teaching them?

Cuz my husband loves me!

I have great friends:
Bambi believes in me and thinks I can
Rhonda and Steve think I can
Mitch thinks I can
Brandon thinks I can
Bev thinks I can
Robin thinks I can
Danielle thinks I can
Charity thinks I can
Bryan thinks I can
Daren thinks I can
Yo and Matt think I can
Heather thinks I can
So many others, I can't list them all!! I love you all for yor support!

Cuz my mom thinks I shouldn't and doesn't like it and I wanna prove I can.

I have worked hard!

I am a winner, not a quitter!

I have sweat gallons and sacrifed to get here quitting makes that worthless.

Others have sacrificed so I can get here quitting makes that worthless.

My clothes fit better.

I am lookin' good naked.

A lot of money has gone into this goal make it count.

This is an attainable goal and I choose it.

I love high heels and this is a chance to wear some sexy ones!!

I spend a lot of time thinking about this- what you think about you bring about; think about success.

I want to inspire others. Be it to lift, or diet, or compete, or just to make a small change to lead them to a healthier path.

I am not afraid of hard work.

Challenges are something I thrive on! This one is mine-I own it!

At the end of the day, I am responsible for my choices and actions. Only I can push through this and keep working out, keep my diet clean, and keep my eye on the prize.

The feeling of satisfaction when I step on that stage is going to make all this seem minute and I will be grateful for the journey.

Soft molasses cookies.

Hello my fitness friends. MERRY CHRISTMAS!! one of my favorite treats this time of year is molasses cookies. LOVE THEM!!! They are delicious and spicy and sweet. Here is my recipe. I have found a clean eating molasses cookie recipe that I will test and report. If its good I will post the recipe.

Soft Molasses Cookies
1 c sugar
1/2 c butter softened
1/2 c shortening
3/4 c sour cream (I subbed plain Greek yogurt this time and it worked perfect)
1/2 c molasses
1 egg
3 c flour
1 1/2 t baking soda
1/2 t salt
1 t ground ginger
1 t ground cinnamon

Heat oven 375*

Cream butter, shortening, and sugar. Add sour cream (yogurt), molasses, and egg. Mix dry ingredients in separate bowl and add in thirds to wet ingredients. Careful to not over mix, but blended completely.  Drop by TBS onto ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 9-11 minutes or until almost no indentation remains when touched in center. Cool slightly on cookie sheet then transfer to wire rack to cool completely.  Sprinkle with sugar while hot from oven if desired.

These cookies are total comfort food, not diet conducive, and are little pieces of molasses heaven. Happy holidays my wonderful friends.

What the HECK I should make for dinner this week??

I posted a request to have some new ideas for dinner.  We eat a lot of chicken and fish, but just get stuck in a rut eating the same things over and over and I get so tired of it.  My kids are really tolerant and will try just about anything once.  My fantastic MyFitnessPal friends...they came through in a pinch.  I got lots of ideas and plan to do some this week.  I have links to some of the recipes that I was given and will post them here.  Also, recipes for those that decide to share them with me and I will share them all with you. 

Salmon recipes.  These look amazing!! Yum, I want to try them all.  We eat lots of salmon and other fish around this house.  It is so good for you. 

• http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/never-be-bored-again-6-salmon-recipes.htm

CHICKEN CHICKEN CHICKEN
So is the life of a lifter.  It is one chicken dish after the next.  It sucks the joy out of eating and really drives home the "food is fuel not pleasure" point, but there are days when you need a little pleasure out of your food or it is easier to just not eat.

This one looks really good.  I think I will skip the corn flakes (we don't eat cold cereal around here and I don't think its needed).

• http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/03/coconut-chicken-salad-with-warm-honey.html

We usually have bell peppers on hand.  Sometimes I need to use them up and don't have time to slice them to freeze for stir fry or other dishes later.  Stuffing them is a great way to use them and my kiddos will actually eat them.

• http://www.skinnytaste.com/2010/08/chicken-and-white-bean-stuffed-peppers.html

The suggestions are as follows from my awesome MFP friends.
Salmon and veg
chicken casserole
spaghetti Bolognese
meatloaf
slow cooked beef
steak
chicken curry (healthy recipe of course)
river cobbler/tilapia with pesto
Cajun Chicken Linguine
Chicken Stew
Shepherd's Pie
Tilapia topped with salsa
Taco salad
chicken parm (baked)
chicken tenders in buffalo sauce
chili
Thai salmon curry
Honey soy salmon (Mix honey with soy sauce and marinate. Then bake till done.)

You can never go wrong with Jamie Eason.  She has great recipes.  If you wanna have a tweaked up heartier recipe for the protein bars look at ThisTimeisMyTime on MFP.  She has souped up the recipe and added a few things.  Her blog is www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/thistimeismytime.  Very inspirational and the bars are good to eat. 

We bought a whole pig earlier this summer and have it in our freezer.   We are always looking for new recipes and things to do with it.  These Mexican Slow Cooked Pork Carnitas sound delicious!

• http://www.skinnytaste.com/2010/03/mexican-slow-cooked-pork-carnitas.html

Or these Pork Chops with Dijon Herb Sauce

• http://www.skinnytaste.com/2008/06/pork-chops-with-dijon-herb-sauce-525-ww.html

AND....when you just can't face another round of chicken-something for dinner but don't want to spend extra calories or fat on lean burger or pork, give turkey a go.  These Turkey Meatloaf Muffins look good and filling.

• http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/video-jamie-eason-turkey-meatloaf-muffins.htm

Who doesn't love some cheese fries?  I know I do.  So give these a shot...made a little more healthy than your standard fare.  Thanks to dogo187 for the recipe.

•  cut up a butternut squash into fries. Lay some wax paper on a baking tray and toss the squash in just a little olive oil, some garlic, salt and pepper. You can also add a little paprika and some red cayanne pepper if you like it spicy. Spread out on the wax paper in an even layer. Bake in the oven at 400F for 20 minutes then toss them around a little, put them back in for another 10 to15 minutes depending on how you like them cooked. Sprinkle with a little grated parmasen cheese.

If you don't feel like cheese fries try some roasted sweet potatoes from Addicted2Aerosmith.  Sweet potatoes are so good and help curb that sweet craving too.

• Cut 4 small sweet potatoes into cubes. Toss with 2 T olive oil or spray with butter spray, salt and pepper.  Roast at 450* stirring occasionally, until browned, about 40 minutes.  

 

AND!!!  Last but certainly not least, what would a recipe post be without a contribution from our favorite TrainLikeaBOSS?  His recipe is as follows:

• take some chicken, bake it, serve with fresh spinach when it is done. And I quote "AMAZING" is the word he used to describe this meal.

If you have more you want to include submit it as a comment here on my other blog and I will be happy to post them too. (willlift4shoes.blogspot.com or myfitnesspal.com/blog/1TenaciousGirl) 

Social Anxiety Disorder

There are days when I have the hardest time just getting up and getting out of bed. I know that there are a million things I need to do, a million responsibilites that I need to take care of, my kids, my house, my job, my husband.  The list goes on and on.  Over the past few months things have spiraled out of control for me. Choices I have made and life hitting hard have made things difficult for me.  They have also increased my anxiety and my depression has deepened.  It has been recently that I have been able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. 

I make no secret on my profile that I deal with anxiety and depression.  They fuel my emotional eating or lack of eating depending on the kind of stressor.  They make it so I struggle to leave the house and go to church or even Wal-mart without my husband. There are days when I have to talk myelf into going to the gym to meet with my trainer.  I don't cancel on these days because I know the endorphin payoff is gonna be good and I have never regretted going.
I was talking with my therapist (yes I have one of those too...immensely helpful and has helped me make more progress in the last month than just about anything else out there) and he suggested that I look into Social Anxiety Disorder.  So I googled it. OMG!!! I was reading page after page of me. How I felt. How I reacted to things.  How this was something that I could overcome.  Symptom and behavior after behavior and symptom fit me to a T.  I felt sad that I have this and then I felt hope that I could overcome it.

My most recent bout with this Anxiety Disorder is when I went to a church function for my oldest daughters. They work hard all year long on various projects and goals. At the end of the year they get to display and show off some of their hard work.  My oldest daughter is a writer. She wrote poem after poem about her life and struggles and successes.  It is beautiful. My second oldest is a dancer.  She worked so hard to go en pointe in ballet.  She also loves ballroom dancing.  She is a gorgeous dancer.  This is one talent I was excited to see her display.  I haven't been to church in a while, the anxiety is just too high in a large group of people and our church meets at a time when Ken is working.  Next year we will switch to an 11 time and he will be able to come with me. I showed up and everyone there was so loving and welcoming and overwhelming. I didn't want people to know that I was panicking (part of the disorder) and so I was trying hard to just interact with them. As we got started the panic had already set it.  I was shaking in my chair. My daughters noticed and asked if I was ok.  I told them no, that I was having some anxiety.  They tried to calm me down, but it was too late.  The room was freezing cold, yet when I got up to stand in the back of the room to try and breathe, it was sweltering hot and I was struggling to get my racing heart to slow down and not hyperventilate. I finally had to leave the room that I was in.

I texted my husband but he was sleeping.  It was late and he had to work early the next day.  I texted a friend I met here on MFP.   Tracy was available.  She just texted with me and talked with me until I was finally able to calm down enough I could breathe and face the room.  I couldn't go back in until the program was done, but I did have a little ice cream with the group and then gathered my chicks and went home and curled up with Ken.  Bless him, he is so understanding.  His wife is a little looney and he just doesn't care.  He loves me anyway and tries to be understanding.

The part I find the most frustrating is that this disorder is taking away from me parts of me that I have always had.  I have always been willing to stand in front of a crowd and talk.  Public speaking was never an issue with me.  I loved to go to the mall, or WalMart or just drive around on my own.  I can't do that now.  I think eventually I will be able to get back to that, but it is going to take time. It has made it so I am isolated from my friends.  I have recently met a friend who is understanding of my anxiety and willing to work with me when I need to just go or have a quiet moment to regroup.  i am very grateful for her. Part of the disorder is knowing that you have an irrational fear but are just unable to overcome the fear. I know this.  The logical side of my brain says that it is silly and just let it go.  The emotional side of me just hangs on for dear life to it becuase OMG what if......  I have always been able to just be open and friendly.  The personality you see online is me in real life.  I don't change it up becuase I am online.  I am just regular me. What you see is what you get. I want to be the gregarious Brandy that I have always been again.  Not trapped in anxiety.  
So to my friends here. One: thanks for reading all that. Holy Cow you are true friends. Two:  Know that this sometimes fuels my craziness on here...Like when I delete at random and then have to turn around and say sorry....I didn't really want to do that.  UGH, its a pride swallowing event and I do appreciate you adding me back.  Three: Thanks for being patient with me. Four: My husband is such a great guy.  I love him with all my heart.  I couldn't do this without him. And Five: I couldnt do this without all the great encouragement I get from everyone here. I love you all and appreciate your friendship.   

Read more on Social Anxiety Disorder: http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/mental-health-social-anxiety-disorder

Boss-tastic Diet

I mentioned that I had used a diet that TrainsLikeABoss gave me to my sister.  She is seeing that I am keeping the weight off and asked me to give her the diet plan.  I posted this on MyFitnessPal.com and several of my friends there wanted it.  Boss said to copy his wife's day the other day.  She is spot on and doing great.  Below is the copy of her day.  I took off the supplements and the coffee.  They added minimal to the counts.

Meal 1	Calories		Carbs	Fat	Protein
Eggs - White only, raw, 6 large	103		1	0	22
Steamed - Green Beans, 1/2 cup	34		8	1	5
Kernel Season's Popcorn Seasoning - Ranch , 1/2 tsp	4		0	0	0
Apple - Gala - Medium , 1 medium apple	80		22	0	0
Smucker's - Creamy Natural Peanut Butter, 1 Tbsp	100		3	8	4
	321		34	9	31
Meal 2
Eggs - White only, raw, 6 large	103		1	0	22
Steamed - Green Beans, 3/4 cup	51		12	2	7
Kernel Season's Popcorn Seasoning - Ranch , 1/2 tsp	4		0	0	0
Fruit - Red Seedless Grapes, 0.5 cup	52		14	0	1
	240		29	4	30
Meal 3
Walmart - Chicken - boneless, skinless, 5 oz.	138		0	3	29
Spinach - Raw, 1 cup	7		1	0	1
Kraft Salad Dressing - Light Asian Toasted Sesame (Reduced Fat Dressing), 2 TBS	50		7	3	1
Cucumber - With peel, raw, 0.5 cup slices	8		2	0	0
Generic - Red Seedless Grapes, 3 grape	10		3	0	0
	243		17	8	31
Meal 4
Spinach - Raw, 1 cup	7		1	0	1
Walmart - Chicken - boneless, skinless, 3 oz.	83		0	2	17
	90		1	2	18
Meal 5
Walmart - Chicken - boneless, skinless, 5 oz.	138		0	3	29
Spinach - Raw, 1 cup	7		1	0	1
Personal Mix - Protein Powder - Whey, 2 scoop	220		12	3	50
	365		13	6	80
Meal 6
Personal Mix - Protein Powder - Whey, 2 scoop	220		12	3	50
	220		12	3	50
Totals		1,479	106	32	240
This is a sample of what you should do.  Mix it up with your veggies, stick to lean protein like fish, lean beef (sparingly), pork (also sparingly, there is lots of fat in pork). I like peppers, cucumbers and radishes.  I am happy to answer questions, drop me an email willlift4shoes@gmail.com. This diet has worked really well for me.  I have enough energy to lift. I usually end up eating about 1600 calories on days I lift and stay close to 1400 on days I don't.  I am maintaining my weight at about 135, (I fluctuate about 3 pounds either way, and I am ok with this).  My current body fat is at 21%. My goal is 13% for my competition.  This is going to come from sticking to my diet.  My new trainer has a diet plan for me, and we will be discussing it on Wednesday.  I will post it when I get it.